A Trashy Confession

It's 1:22 a.m. on Garbage Day.

For some serendipitously evil reason I have missed the past 3 garbage days.

I had a major trash backup to begin with, make no mistake. My mother, (bless her heart) was here taking care of the house and kids while I was in the hospital and she seems to regard recycling as a cult ritual for spliffed-out non-conformist liberals. She averaged three large bags a week while she was running the house, to our usual one small bag. Waste management only picks up 3, so we already had a surplus when she left.

First week back home:: I'm recovering from surgery and still cannot lift the bags from the upstairs patio and tote them to the curb, forgot to ask someone to take care of it.

Second week:: Entire family (including myself) simply forget about it.

Third week:: (now with 6+ bags piled up out there, nicely chilled in the -27 C winter wind) I have the best intentions, but find the sliding glass door out to the patio frozen shut with the countdown to pickup time approaching within the hour. By the time I melt the 2 inch icecap along the bottom of the door with a hair dryer, the garbage man has long since passed through the neighborhood.

This may seem like a trivial issue, but my conscience keeps goading me about the ever-growing pile of garbage bags on the patio. Recycling is kept in the kitchen area and has faithfully made it out the door for the late afternoon weekly pickup, thank goodness.

But the trash has reached a critical point.

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  I wonder if the elderly people strolling along the street can smell it, and if they'll trot home and call Children's Aid or the Health Dept on me.
  
  
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  I pray that the temp stays below freezing.
  
  
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  I wonder if the universe is stacking something against me, and it's being made manifest through trash.
  
  
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  I wonder if I'm developing an unconscious anal retentive tendency, coupled with deep denial.
  
  
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  I wonder if the trash man thinks I'm holding out on him, or if I've made his day.
  
  
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  I wonder how long it's going to take me to make 7+ bags look like the legal quota of 3 before the truck comes round again in the morning.
  
  
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  I wonder if I can get on Jerry Springer if I forget again tomorrow.

I feel like a Catholic missing the Confessional too many times in a row, and decide to Google 'god' and 'garbage' to see what comes up.

I find "Is God in the Garbage?", an excellent critical essay on Adi Da's philosophies. Well worth checking out. Also good reading is the Crooked Timber blog on The Garbage Gene, about evolutionary psychology and the so-called 'faith gene'.

Garbage-Collecting the Metaverse - an amusing convo with God (as garbage collector?) And of course, don't miss DubyaSpeak, the site Bush lovers call garbage. I rather enjoy it. *w*

Good news in my area, rumour has it local Waste Management is considering implementing compostable garbage pickup. I have friends in Toronto on a similar program, in fact I think it's a requirement in their area. It's not a pain until the warmer months, for obvious reasons. I'm thinking about trying worm composting in my basement when the weather warms up.

Only one friend on IM tonight, and they're busy. I should be asleep now anyway, preparing to cleanse my porch and conscience in the morning.

The Trashman Cometh.