The Terrorist in the Mirror

The Terrorist in the Mirror

Noam Chomsky's speech at the Amnesty International Annual Lecture hosted by TCD, delivered at Shelbourne Hall, the Royal Dublin Society, January 18, 2006.

Dogma

All we want is a headrush.
All we want is to get out of our skin for a while.
We have nothing to lose because we don't have anything.
Anything we want anyway....

We used to hate people.
Now we just make fun of them.
It's more effective that way.

We don't live.
We just scratch on day to day.
With nothing but matchbooks and sarcasm in our pockets,
And all we are waiting for is for something worth waiting for.

Let's admit America gets the celebrities we deserve.
Let's stop saying "Don't quote me" because if no one quotes you,
You probably haven't said a thing worth saying.

We need something to kill the pain of all that nothing inside.
We all just want to die a little bit.

We fear that pop-culture is the only culture we're ever going to have.
We want to stop reading magazines.
Stop watching T.V.
Stop caring about Hollywood.
But we're addicted to the things we hate.

We don't run Washington and no one really does.
Ask not what you can do for your country,
Ask what your country did to you.

The only reason you're still alive is because someone
Has decided to let you live.

We owe so much money we're not broke we're broken.
We're so poor we can't even pay attention.

So what do you want?
You want to be famous and rich and happy,
But you're terrified you have nothing to offer this world.
Nothing to say and no way to say it,
But you can say it in three languages.

You are more than the sum of what you consume.
Desire is not an occupation.
You are ultimately thrilled and desperate,
Skyhigh and fucked.

Let's stop praying for someone to save us and start saving ourselves.
Let's stop this and start over.
Let's go out - let's keep going.

This is your life - this is your fucking life.

We need something to kill the pain of all that nothing inside.

Quit whining you haven't done anything wrong because frankly,
You haven't done much of anything.

Someone's writing down your mistakes.
Someone's documenting your downfall.

KMFDM

Life is unfair

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...


...and you finish off as an orgasm."

George Carlin

Today I...

1) Picked up an unexpected final paycheck from my latest shitty job venture.
2) Browsed through Chapters and picked up:

The Golden Ratio (The Story of Phi) by Mario Livio
No Logo : Taking Aim at the Brand Bullies, by Naomi Klein

3) Got approved for my OSAP (Ontario student loan), and completed registration for Paralegal studies.

Pretty good day so far. Now to see if I can get laid tonight.

Patterns

Tony Iommi (featuring Serj Tankian) 2000

Patterns

Life is a story
Go ahead and find your sight

Life is your glory
Go ahead and live the night

But to live means to be here
In the present now
Do try to bow for the gift of your day
Then you cede to the morning sun

Pretending that we live doesn't make us alive

Life is a story
Go ahead and find your sight

But to live means to be here
In the present now
Do try to bow for the gift of your day
Then you cede to the morning sun

Pretending that we see doesn't give us the sight
Pretending that we live doesn't make us alive

What is it that makes us lose sight
True sight, of what is real and essential
I'll take organized patterns of chaos
Over the chaotic organizations of man, any day

Pretending that we see doesn't give us the sight
Pretending that we live doesn't make us alive
Pretending that we see doesn't give us the sight
Pretending that we live doesn't make us alive

Monster Conglomerate, Inc.

Bad workers can't be controlled by management, especially when they're ready to pretend to be loyal employees and otherwise lie to the enemy.

I simultaneously love and hate my new job.

Into only my second week of training, I'm learning a lot of technical info that, quite honestly, I would have paid to obtain.

Being thrown onto telephones the first three days (no training, no warning) to do outbound calls obtaining usage counts on equipment was a fucking nightmare. I was on the verge of throwing my headset at the closest authority figure. This would have been quite easy to do, as the site director, project manager, trainer, various supervisors and an HR honcho were all circling in panicked conferences around our cubicles. Oddly enough though, whenever one of us cogs stood in panic with a software, VoIP, or client issue, all they had to offer were blank stares and furtive whispers into their OP-control walkie talkies.

All through the first day, I had fantasies of standing at the revolving security doors, swiping my ID card and flinging it backward over my shoulder with a ear-splitting cry of "FUCK THE SYSTEM!"

The entire a.m. training crew hung on through those horrible first 3 days, and now we're settled into a 'blended learning' class to prepare for being thrown onto the phones yet again. The countdown commences.

The classroom population could have been copied and pasted from a high school basic maths class, summer school version, the only difference being, there are some others like myself who appear to be parental chaperones of socially retarded teenagers.

There are girls in the classroom who talk at a giggly pitch all through the lectures on confidentiality, 'customer care', log-on processes and various software systems. These same girls frequently apply frosted pink lip gloss, file their nails, comb their hair, change hairstyles and discuss their menstrual cycles during class time. They all invite me to join them on IM after work, or go the bar before heading home. Bless their useless little hearts. They don't take notes, but having pegged me as the maternal alpha female nerd, they invite me to lunch in hopes that I'll help them. I find myself hiding out from them in the deviant smoker section outdoors. Highschool all over again.

There is only one real man in the class, a wonderfully clever and mature aboriginal guy. He's pushing 40 with a great sense of humour and deserves a better job. There are several dorky blowhards who keep their noses far up the trainer's arse, and bombard the group with their wit and knowledge, interrupting any sincere question with convoluted and largely inaccurate answers, while the trainer takes it all in and thanks them for their input. I can assume these assholes will shortly be promoted to supervisors or quality control. God help us all.

On the positive side, I like getting a paycheck. It's less than half of what my husband makes, but it's enough to cover the rent and hopefully we can sock some away in a mortgage RRSP. I enjoy getting up at 4 a.m. and getting out of the house. I really like the SecureID, and would love to wear it on my badge (pretentious nerd that I am), but of course the management considers us far too stupid and irresponsible to be allowed to have possession of them. If you lose one, there would be a three week waiting period to obtain a new one. We'll have to be good little worker bees and stand in line at the OP station and wait for them to be handed out pre-shift.

I also enjoy the actual work. I have always liked efficient and personable tech support people, and think I'll probably do okay with it. It's a shame I can't talk about it publicly, but the company I'll be contracted to doesn't want their US clientele or employees knowing that they've outsourced to a Canadian company while simultaneously causing massive layoffs in the US.

Hear that? That's the sound of a soul sucking. Far and wee.

"Good ________ , Thank you for calling Monster Conglomerate Technical Support. My name is Allison, how may I help you today?"

"I can help you that. First, may I have your first and last name, telephone number, correct mailing address and email?"

~verify everything, ad nauseum, while frantically searching database for the correct tech info~

~run customer through 1 to 3.14159265 various possible answers to problem, while repeatedly using their preferred name to foster the impression of caring, personalized service and taking copiously detailed and depersonalized notes for reference in the Borg Collective database~

"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

"Thank you for calling Monster Conglomerate Technical Support, have a great day!"

News from the front

I'm now a legal Canadian Landed Immigrant! It only took us 4 years, 3 to scrape the various fees and documents together, and 1 long year waiting for them to process the application. I don't recommend doing it unless you are either very much in love, very wealthy, or a refugee from a war-torn land. Even then.. think twice.

More news:

Because I'm now legal to work, I started job-hunting online and discovered that I wouldn't qualify for positions I held previously in the US. In my field, bilingualism is mandatory. There is a customer-service outsourcing company in the area, and I sent my resume in. Got a phone call from HR literally within 4 minutes after sending. That was a bit creepy. Went in for pre-interview testing and passed everything with high marks, interview 2 days later and got the job. Not so impressive, considering the reputation of the company and the extremely high turnover rate. It seems to be populated by either very young people or women like me, who've had a few kids and are looking to get any type of work that pays above the minimum wage.

Yes, I'm another sold-out corporate monkey. My inner hippie is weeping.

Hubby says if I don't like it, walk. So that's the plan. I don't anticipate any skills-related problems, it's customer service and tech support for digital technology in a field I have some experience with. If I can keep my nose to the terminal and stay out of office politics and never mention the naughty word (union) I should get by fine. I plan to stay long enough to get some good Canadian work history behind me, maybe longer. I'm still planning on finishing my degree after we get ahead and put a down on a house.

Kids are back in school, and they seem pretty satisfied. Son says high school isn't nearly as demanding as Grade 8. The kids on the bus roll doobs and smoke up at transfer points. Daughter already loves her teacher and is doing well.

Don't know how often I'll be able to post, but I will stay in touch. Thanks to all who left the thoughtful comments. I was without a pc for a while and checked in when possible at the library. Made me smile.

I'll be sitting in a cubicle soon, saying "Aum" frequently and thinking of you all.